[Brown] Velvet if you pleeeeeeeease...

What do you get when you choose not to add the red food coloring to a buttermilk chocolate cake? BROWN velvet cake...which I actually think could be 'nom-ier' than red velvet.

Now...I had no clue that red velvet cake was southern or whatever til I moved to NYC. I guess I've always been aware of it but...never really thought about it as a 'traditional' southern thing. Birthdays were celebrated with 1,2,3,4 cakes and there was always caramel cake at Thanksgiving, so uh yeah. But i'm all jazzed it's in my life now...if for no other reason than the cream cheese frosting. Be honest with yourself...that's really the reason you like this cake, isn't it?

fatties

Anyhoo, it was my bestest friend's b-day this past weekend and, hating the idea of someone being birthday cake-less on her birthday, I decided to make her one.

Now, I make a pretty good cookie and can even whip out a stunning profiterole from time to time but cake...kinda intimidates me...particularly whole cakes and not little cuppie cakie cakes.* (*although delicious, cuppie cakes are kinda for sissies.)

So I used my brain and a pretty spiffy recipe (borrowed from smittenkitchen.com) and deliciousness was produced! Here's the recipe:

Yield: 3 cake layers

1 tablespoon unsalted butter
3 1/2 cups cake flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa (not Dutch process)
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 cups canola oil
2 1/4 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
6 tablespoons (3 ounces) red food coloring or 1 teaspoon red gel food coloring dissolved in 6 tablespoons of water
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1 1/4 cup buttermilk
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 1/2 teaspoons white vinegar.

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place teaspoon of butter in each of 3 round 9-inch layer cake pans and place pans in oven for a few minutes until butter melts. Remove pans from oven, brush interior bottom and sides of each with butter and line bottoms with parchment.

2. Whisk cake flour, cocoa and salt in a bowl.

3. Place oil and sugar in bowl of an electric mixer and beat at medium speed until well-blended. Beat in eggs one at a time. With machine on low, very slowly add red food coloring. (Take care: it may splash.) Add vanilla. Add flour mixture alternately with buttermilk in two batches. Scrape down bowl and beat just long enough to combine.

4. Place baking soda in a small dish, stir in vinegar and add to batter with machine running. Beat for 10 seconds.

5. Divide batter among pans, place in oven and bake until a cake tester comes out clean, 40 to 45 minutes. Let cool in pans 20 minutes. Then remove from pans, flip layers over and peel off parchment. Cool completely before frosting.

NOTES:

-it says it yields 3 cake layers...but i just u sed 2 9" cake pans and that was fine.

-instead of waiting for the oven to preheat and melting the butter in the cake pans, just melt some

butter in the microwave and brush it onto the bottom and sides of the pan. it's easier.

-for the parchment cake pan liners: lay the cake pan on the parchment paper and trace with a pencil. cut out the circles. (just turn the pencil marking side down...lead is not good eats)

-buy buttermilk. just do it.

-the more you sift your flour/cocoa mixture the lighter the cake will be. tedious, yes. super awesome deliciousness, yes.

suck it up and do it!

-RECIPE FOR CAKE FLOUR!

-for every 1 cup of all purpose flour, remove 2 T from the cup and replace

with 2 T of corn starch.

...CAKE FLOUR!

-just like any other cake, DO NOT over mix this bad boy! When you start alternately adding the buttermilk and flour mixture, do it by hand and mix til JUUUUUUUUST combined. you're welcome.

Cream Cheese Frosting

Makes 6 cups

8 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter room temperature
3 cups confectioner’s sugar, sifted
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Place cream cheese and butter in a medium bowl. With a handheld electric mixer, beat until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add sugar and vanilla. Beat, on low speed to combine. If too soft, chill until slightly stiff, about 10 minutes, before using.

Notes:

-the recipe says it yields 6 cups...i ain't so sure about that but it's enough to frost a 2 layer cake. yeah.

-i prefer a cream cheesier frosting to this but...it's still pretty good. it'll be something to work on later in life.

-make sure all your ingredients are at room temp!

Frosting/Assembly notes

-after the cakes come out of the oven, let them rest for about 20 mins in their pans

-to remove them place a platter or cutting board or whatever on top of the cake pan and turn over. the cake should easily come out of the pan. Then just peel off the parchment.

-rip about 4 long strips of wax paper/parchment paper and arrange them on the edges of your cake plate.

-place the bottom cake layer flat side UP onto the cake plate and strips of paper

-put a big old dollop of frosting in the center of the cake and spread to a little before the edge (you gotta give it room to squidge out when the top layer is placed on top)

-place the top cake layer flat side UP (again) on the bottom layer and frost your face off

-don't be afraid to take your time frosting the cake. slow and steady wins the race (and also makes it so your white frosting doesn't have brown crumbs laced throughout)

-when you're done frosting, slowly pull out the strips of paper and you have a lovely edge. ah...so lovely.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAWN!

and now...The Snickerdoodle

Snickerdoodles!

I don't tend to discriminate when it comes to cookies. I'm an equal opportunity muncher. Oatmeal raisin, peanut butter, oreos, sugar, and of course chocolate chip are all pretty equal in my mind...or in my belly. I'd like to think that I make all these cookies with equal deliciousness but there's ONE cookie that drives people smack into their happy place: the snickerdoodle.

'What is it, Laura, about this particular cookie that makes folks so happy?' you ask.

well maybe...

Cinnamon makes people stupidly happy.

The slightly crispy outside and the buttery inside makes people stupidly happy.

Donut glaze makes people stupidly happy.

Free cookies make people stupidly happy.

The first time I made these was while performing in Hilton Head, SC around Christmas of '08. There was this local holiday cookie competition and I entered thinkin' 'ooo fun' and frickin won. So...yeah...these things are tasty.

I also baked these for Madison Square Eats and they sold out in a day-and for the next week of the festival everyday someone would come by saying 'Hey, do you have any snickerdoodles?' It makes a girl monstrously proud.

And also kinda giggly...I mean what's funnier than a grown man saying 'snickerdoodle'?

So here's my recipe and here's hopin' you like 'em!

Snickerdoodles w/ Donut Glaze

Stuff you'll need

set oven to 375/ use ungreased cookie sheets

2 1/4 cups flour

1 t baking powder

1 t salt 1

1 1/2 T cinnamon

2 sticks room temperature butter

1/2 cup white sugar

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 t vanilla

2 room temperature eggs

3 T plus 1 T cinnamon for rolling

Combine first 4 ingredients in small bowl

Cream butter and sugars

Add vanilla

Add eggs one at a time

Beat in flour in 3 incorporations

About to add eggs and vanilla to creamed butter/sugars

(*optional-let dough rest for half hour in fridge*)

Roll balls of dough in cinnamon/sugar mixture

Bake for 8-10 mins

Fancy cookie scoop

balls...

All rolled in cinnamon sugar 'bout to go in the oven

DONUT GLAZE

Stuff you'll need

2 t hot milk

1/2 t vanilla

1/2 cup powdered sugar (10x sugar)

whisk together and let set for a sec til it's kinda room temp. (how frickin' easy was THAT?)

pour over cookies or dip cookies into the glaze.

nom

You're welcome.

Don't forget to lick the beater!

NYC Day

Hi-Oh

I've been pretty busy (can't remember the last time i grocery shopped) lately and it is way past time i updated this bloggie thingie.

'What's been keeping you so busy, Laura?' you say?

Auditions...as always.

Singing at cabarets...old favorite past-time

Breaking hearts...new favorite past-time

Working at a bakery...Stupidly fun

Along with the usual baking, packaging, etc. at Hot Blondies (hotblondiesbakery.com) I've been working at their booth for Madison Square Eats. A big ole market of spiffy restaurants and trucks, Madison Square Eats has been a joy for my mouth and an enemy to my hips.

'Lobster roll?' Why, yes, thank you.

'Prosciutto and kale pizza?' Don't mind if I do.

'Beer, beer, and more beer?' Well, you only live once, right?

And who needs grocery shopping when you've got cute guys throwing steak tacos your way? Exaaaaactly.

It's been a hell of a lot of fun AND i'm picking up little tips about running mobile food services. That could come in handy someday...

Anyhoo-attached is a little video of a pretty bad-ass day involving an audition, a haircut, baking, working the booth, some RIDICULOUSLY cool news, and singing karaoke in Queens.

Devilish Lemon Squares

Where oh where do i begin?

Sean 'Forget your troubles c'mon it's sean bell' Bell and Julius 'late twenties' 'bettywhite' Thomas came over for dinner tonight and it was kinda awesome.

Sean and I started immediately hitting the wine and cheese while Julius hit the kitchen and made some CRAZY TASTY shrimp n' grits.

Not one to let everyone else bring allllll the goodies I offered to make dessert:

DELICATE LEMON SQUARES!

Note: 10x sugar=confectioners' sugar

These are pretty gi-gundo crowd pleasers. The batch I made tonight, though, seemed a wee bit sweet. Don't know what that was about but...it's not gonna keep me from eating 'em.

Some notes!

-Don't let the butter get quite to room temperature. Take it out of the fridge and squish it into the flour and sugar letting the heat from your hands soften it up. It'll make the crust WAY more manageable.

-No need to grease the pan

-zest the lemon before you cut and squeeze it. it's kind of a DUH thing but...ya know...

-go easy on the powdered sugar on top of the squares. these things aren't exactly crying for more sugar, ok?

-wait til the squares come just to room temp before cutting and serving. everyone loves a little squiggy dessert but...just go with me on this one.

-topping them with various berries is always a good call, too! Blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, snozzberries...wait...

Super nom.

Happy Holidays...?

WAR DAMN EAGLE...have a biscuit

HAPPY FIRST GAME O' THE SEASON, SEC FANS!!

No video of me this week cause:

a) rolled out of bed, threw on my Auburn shirt, and got straight to watchin' them frickin SQUEAK by Utah State. UTAH STATE?!? REALLY AUBURN??!!!

b) i wasn't sure this recipe was gonna turn out well and I don't want to fail that hard

c) laziness

So I'll refer you to the video of Alton Brown makin' southern biscuits. I followed his recipe pretty closely and tastiness was produced.

like...MEGA tastiness...

some notes first:

-I sifted the dry ingredients first for lightness. It's an easy step and you'll be glad ya did.

-No need for the butter to be super cold. Just take it out of the fridge and use.

-I used a combo butter and shortening. Now...you can use one or the other but the butter is really necessary for flavor and the shortening for flakiness. Just use both.

-When he says 'the dough will be sticky,' he means it. It looks as though you'll need to add some more flour before you turn the dough out of the bowl but DON'T do it. You'll add that flour in the 'patting out the dough' process.

-I didn't have any buttermilk BUT I had milk and white vinegar. So I made my own!

Put 1 Tablespoon vinegar in a 1 Cup measure

Add as much milk as it takes to fill the cup

Let stand for 5 minutes

VOILA! BUTTERMILK!!

-Using a rolling pin is totally unnecessary. Using a good amount of flour on your work surface, hands, and top of the dough is necessary, though. And I worked on parchment paper instead of a counter...it just made cleanup easier.

-When you turn the dough onto your parchment paper, fold in half then turn a quarter of the way. Repeat. This will give you layers! And pat gently...there will be NO man-handling of the dough! Got it?

-Flour your biscuit cutter well pre-biscuit cut and cut all the way through your biscuit before you turn the cutter.

-Thought they'd need an egg wash to make the tops all pretty but they browned up all by themselves.

Here's Mr. Alton Brown's Southern biscuit video AND recipe:

http://youtu.be/d3QuQSdjMVE

• 2 cups flour
• 4 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 2 tablespoons shortening
• 1 cup buttermilk, chilled (CONSULT RECIPE ABOVE)

Directions

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. (I ONLY WENT TO 410)

In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Using your fingertips, rub butter and shortening into dry ingredients until mixture looks like crumbs. (The faster the better, you don't want the fats to melt.) Make a well in the center and pour in the chilled buttermilk. Stir just until the dough comes together. The dough will be very sticky.

Turn dough onto floured surface, dust top with flour and gently fold dough over on itself 5 or 6 times. Press into a 1-inch thick round. Cut out biscuits with a 2-inch cutter, being sure to push straight down through the dough. Place biscuits on baking sheet so that they just touch. Reform scrap dough, working it as little as possible and continue cutting.

(Biscuits from the second pass will not be quite as light as those from the first, but hey, that's life.)

Bake until biscuits are tall and light gold on top, 15 to 20 minutes.

Best served with a HUGE dollop of butter.

Mess o' biscuits (see the layers??)

Mess o' dishes

Raise Your [brownies] High And [eat] To ZTA Tonight!

Zeta Tau Alpha

Alpha Nu Chapter

Birmingham-Southern College

'Favorite Cheer'

(screaming as loud as you can)

*ahem*

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

YOU WILL BE A ZETA IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU

SO LISTEN WHILE WE SING TO YOU OUR SONG OF GREY AND BLUE

OUR CREST IS BEST BY TEST YOU'LL SEE/

WE'LL ALWAYS TREAT YOU RIGHT

SO

(*loud as humanly possible*)

RAISE YOUR GLASSES HIGH AND DRINK TO Z-T-A TONIGHT

OH YOU WILL FIND THE GIRLS AS NICE AS THEY CAN BE

SO COME ALONG AND JOIN

THE BEST FRATERNITY

WE'VE GOT THE PEP THE GO THAT MAKES YOU WANNA SAY

'HALLELUJAH! I'M CONVERTED AND I'LL BE A Z-T-A!'

'HALLELUJAH! I'M CONVERTED AND I'LL BE A Z-T-A!'

I graduated college in '05 and I have NO problem remembering that cheer. Ah, there's nothin better than being a Zeta: the great girls, fun mixers, cynicism, finding friends you'll truly keep for a lifetime...and the marshmallow brownies we make for rush.

Rush, as I'll tell ya in the video, is tough: the long hours, panhellenic's ridiculous list of rules, the rehearsals, the meetings, the decorations, and on and on and on... The thing that made it tolerable, though, was seein all the sweet new girls running up the hill with their bid cards on bid day and the leftover brownies after skit night. These brownies should really come with a warning-

1) they're addictive as hell

2) they're sugary as hell

3) glass of milk is NECESSARY for true enjoyment

You could seriously run the risk of slipping into a diabetic coma from one of these bad boys. However, if you're a 20-year-old Zeta you're gonna need that sugar to not only get through the night's bid meeting, but also set up decorations for pref night. (I'm not about to go into details about what a 'skit' night or a 'pref' night is...i lived through it 3 times y'all...don't make me do it again). Now that I'm 28 I like to shovel these into my mouth just to see how my body'll react.

I like to keep my pancreas on its toes.

Brownies:

1 C butter, melted

2 C Sugar

1/2 C unsweetened coca powder

4 large eggs, lightly beaten

1 t vanilla

1/8 t salt

1 1/2 c all purpose flour

1 10.5 oz bag mini marshmallows

Whisk together melted butter and next 5 ingredients. Stir in flour. Pour batter into greased and floured 9' X 13' pan and bake at 350 for 25-30 mins or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

Take out of oven and sprinkle with marshmallows. Return to oven for 5 minutes.

Remove from oven and spread with Chocolate frosting while still warm.

Do NOT overmix!

Frosting:

1/4 cup butter, softened

1/2 cup milk

1 16 oz box powdered sugar (sifted)

1/3 cup unsweetened coca powder

Beat all ingredients til smooth. Eat at your own risk.

I'll correct myself quickly here-in the video I say '4 egg YOLKS' but it's really '4 whole eggs'.

Many thanks to my 'Big' Georgina Simmons Perry for getting this recipe to me. Best of luck for recruitment this year!

ZLAM Y'ALL

Bobby Fischer-Where is he? I DUNNO I DUNNO!!!

So I know the title of this blog is pretty dumb...but we're making Chess Pie today!!

Chess...Bobby Fischer...get it?

Anyhoo, there's something about chess pie that's massively southern and kinda nostalgic for me. It reminds me of Gibson's Bar-B-Q off Memorial Parkway in Huntsville, AL. They've got everything: piggie mascots, old lady waitresses, paneling from the '70's, long lines on Sunday after 'Big Church', barbque stuffed baked potatoes and PIE! And even though I've never had the chess pie at Gibson's, I associate this pie with this place. Funny, huh?

I've recently seen a chocolate version of chess pie at a place in Astoria, Queens. It's served in a jar and topped with peanut buttery stuff. Although that sounds delicious I call bull ca-ca. That ain't chess pie. Just 'cause it's served in a Ball Jar doesn't make it 'southern'. So now I give you: Lemony chess Pie (feat. whipped cream tutorial and apple pie interlude):

Recipe:

(I subbed the juice and zest of 2 small lemons for the vanilla and you GOTTA try that)

I cut myself a piece the next day and 'hold-onto-your-hats!' this is my new favorite. It's total 'GOOP' pie and the lemon-ness is PERFECT!!! I can't WAIT to make this again for company cause this sucker is all mine. Maybe Bobby Fischer woulda been pleasant if he had had a piece...

*Big credit to Dawn Harris for her general brilliance behind the camera*